... Stuck in a Rut!

Right now, my life is... kinda boring. My weekdays consist of the following: I wake up, stay in my PJs, do my homework, talk with my Mom, pick up around the house here and there, get ready for work, go to work, work, come home from work, talk with my Mom, get in my PJs, get ready for bed, fall asleep, wake up the next day, and repeat it all over again. The only things that mix up this schedule is Thursday nights I go to Young Women's (since I'm a leader) and the occasional cat hanging on the screen of my window at night. Other than that, my life is pretty predictable. Fridays start out the same as the above mentioned schedule and only end differently if I get invited by someone else randomly asking me to do something. Saturdays have their own schedule, but it's pretty much the same every Saturday as well: I wake up early, get ready for work, go to work, come home from work, each lunch, go to the MTC, pretend to be an Investigator, come home from the MTC, work on homework, talk with my Mom, get ready for bed, and fall asleep. Once and a while I do have plans for Saturday, but not all the time.

I really wish I had something BIG to look forward to that wasn't months or more away. Life for me right now is kinda lonely. It's crazy how you can be surrounded by tons of people, but still feel alone. It's also interesting how you can stay really busy and keep yourself occupied, but when it comes time to fall asleep you find yourself empty and wondering "What did I accomplish today? I kept going and going, but I feel I have nothing to show for it." I need to kick myself in the butt and get out of this rut I'm in. I can't decide if I need to do more and stay more busy so I don't have time to think, or if I need to do less and take time to enjoy every moment. Only time will tell and ultimately I am the only one who can get out of this rut I'm in.

Interesting. I just counted how many times I used the words, "I" "My" "Me" or "I'm" in the above paragraphs and it came to a total of 32 times! That's my problem! I'm only thinking about myself and not about others! For the next week I will no longer think about myself... I will now focus my attention on others. Hopefully this will change the way I feel. I will get out of the this rut I'm in!